That made me think that getting old wouldn’t be so bad, if you had someone like that beside you.

There was this touching story about a couple that was married for 72 years and died holding hands an hour apart. That’s just what fairy tales are made of. Too bad this kind of love doesn’t happen often in real life.

“No matter what the question, Love is the answer” – Anonymous

Deerhurst Resort was founded in 1896 in Muskoka, one of the most beautiful places in Ontario. It’s about two hours away from Toronto and minutes from the Algonquin National Park.

Muskoka landscapes inspired the Group of Seven (artists), which paintings of Canadian landscapes you can see everywhere at Deerhurst.

Mom standing in front of Painting done by Group of Seven at Deerhurst, Muskoka, 2011

The resort is also famous for launching Shania Twain’s career in late 1980s and for hosting G8 Summit in 2010. They mention G8 every chance they get. Photos from the Summit are hanging in the halls and there is even a G8 desert on the menu at the restaurant. I tried it. It’s OK.

G8 dinner desert on the menu at Deerhurst, referring to G8 Summit in 2010 that was held there.

We were wondering how they maintain their 780 acres of lakeside property. The place looks huge, but well groomed.

Mom is admiring flowers in the garden at the Deerhurst resort.

Sunset at Deerhurst, Muskoka

Deerhurst offers a lot of activities. In the summer, you can rent boats or jet skis, go on a boat tour, play golf, tennis, swim in pools or in the lake etc.

Boating at Deerhurst, Muskoka.

Boats on the Lake, Deerhurst, Muskoka.

However, I found this place a bit too quite and a bit boring for me. I think  Deerhurst is ideal for kids and family types… or maybe if it was my first trip to Muskoka, it would’ve been different, but It wasn’t my first trip. I’ve been there before. So I ended up spending most of my time reading by the pool.

Pool at the Deerhurst Resort was my favourite place to hang out.

While there, we went for a horseback riding. Horses that we were riding, were only allowed to walk, and not run. For me that was not as exciting, as I’ve hoped for.  We were told that those horses never ran in their life. I thought that was kinda cruel for the animals that were built for speed to never experienced it.

Horseback riding at Deerhurst, Muskoka, Aug 2011.

We’ve also made a boat trip to Huntsville one day. It’s a very cute, but small town popular with boaters in the summer.

Me on Huntsville bridge, August 2011

Downtown Huntsville is just one very short street

We visited a couple craft stores there and had a lunch on the patio of “The Cottage”, a restaurant on the waterfront, which was recommended to us by locals and was pretty good.

Visiting Craft Store in Huntsville, August 2011.

"The Cottage" Restaurant, Huntsville, Ontario.

Overall, my vacation was quite nice and relaxing, which is exactly what I was aiming for.
So if you’ve never been to Muskoka, I highly recommend it. The nature is truly beautiful there and the little towns and resorts around the area have a lot to offer, both in the summer and in the winter.

This view was partially shaped by the books I read in high school (“Crime and Punishment” etc.), teaching methods in school at that time (We were encouraged to strive for perfection) and because of my overall sheltered childhood.

Crime rates were low in Russia at that time, or if they weren’t, we were not aware of that, because we never saw crime reports on TV. News programs covered only happy news and official messages were always positive and uplifting in nature.

"Day after day, life becomes even happier! - Soviet era poster

When I was younger, I struggled with the fact that not everything and everyone is perfect. I didn’t know what to do about that and very often would break good (but not perfect) relationships and stop talking to some people for extended periods of time.

I didn’t know that by aiming for perfection, I was setting myself up for a disappointment.

Now much older, I know that it’s unrealistic to expect perfection from yourself or others, and that perfection doesn’t lead to happiness.

However, one thing I didn’t understand is why my parents didn’t try to prepare me better for the real world. I lived in such a bubble, that I was unaware of  anything bad. I never had a conversation with my mom about boys, drinking, jealousy or bullying at school, or any other important issues that all teenagers experience, as if they didn’t apply to me.

My mom says that she didn’t know any better. That’s how she was brought up. There was no good literature on this topic at a time and people generally didn’t discussed problems, especially with their kids.

That’s definitely not the best way to bring up kids. It’s a sure way to raise defeated perfectionists, naive, too trusting and totally unprepared for the real life individuals, who will end up disappointed in life.

Luckily, it’s not me, though I was probably heading in that direction before.

God, I wish I was a cat or a dog, or some other creature that doesn’t have to look in the mirror every day and talk itself into loving self”.

We, humans, complicate things too much. We need others to tell us how great we are, we seek some kind of proof justifying our existence, we need emotional guidance, otherwise we psychoanalyse ourselves to death. Little things can set us off and we are quick to reach for booze or drugs, and observe some other self-destructive behaviour. It’s absurd. We should be the smartest of the bunch.

I am sure my cat doesn’t start his morning by giving himself a pep talk on how great he is before he starts his day. He has no problem with his self-image and he doesn’t agonize over a few extra pounds he gained over Christmas. He doesn’t think he needs to look deep within itself to “awaken his sense of identity, and to enable joy and wonder of his life”. It would be funny, actually, if he did…

So back to my main thought “I wish I was a cat”….

I also spoke to someone today, who is in her late forties and who married at 24 because she was afraid to be alone. She thought she didn’t have many options and that she would have less and less options, as she’d get older. So she rushed and “grabbed her husband, as if he was the last thing on sale”- she said. She never really loved her husband and she eventually divorced him.

I’ve heard many similar stories. I myself have made similar mistakes in the past, settling for someone who wasn’t ideal for me.

So why do we settle?
Why do we ignore that voice inside of us that tells us that the person we are planning to spend the rest of our life with is not good for us? It’s as if we are saying ok to half-happiness, instead of complete happiness. If we all refused to settle, there probably would’ve been a lot more happy couples in this world, as all of us would’ve have a chance of finding our perfect match. So don’t settle for my man.

Photo credit: Karim Andreotti on Flickr

I think marriage is one of those utopian concepts, like Communism, that look good in theory, but don’t work in practice. Statistics definitely support that with the divorce rate, at least in Canada, being steadily around 40%, which means 4 in 10 Canadian marriages now end in divorce. (Statistics Canada). Worldwide statistics are even worse – 50% of all marriages end in divorce and the average marriage only lasts 5 years.

“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
- Oscar Wilde

Here is a question – How can you possibly promise to someone that for the rest of your life you’ll feel the same about them? We all change. What we like today, we hate tomorrow. I don’t like chocolate chip cookies as much now, as I liked them when I first tried them. So why expect that I’ll love the same person 10 years later? That’s just an unrealistic expectation. Finding someone to love, who will also love you back is hard. But to find someone like that and for both of you to have the same feelings forever, what are the chances of that?

They say marriage is a hard work. Why should it be a hard work? Because it’s unnatural? When it’s falling apart, we simply force it to work.

Another thing about marriage that always bothered me is that as soon as we start talking marriage, we start focusing on the wrong things. Weddings are all about dresses and cakes and what others will think about us. If you are happy in a relationship, there is no need to involve others or prove anything to others. If you are not happy, a party and a piece of paper won’t make things better. So in any case, there doesn’t seem to be a good reason to get married. Certainly not, if you want your life to be a fairy tale.

“Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution? ”
- Groucho Marx

Image credit: Loozrboy on Flickr

So why do we keep ourselves busy at all times?

I seem to be incapable of slowing down and doing nothing. I have too much guilt when I do that.
I have a few books now sitting on my shelf that I started reading and then abandoned them, as they were not work related. Somehow reading for pleasure feels wrong. I pack my day with things that I think are worth spending my time on. I always bring my laptop on all my trips. If I am not producing, learning, advancing etc., I feel like I am wasting my time.

On the Ski Trip to Big White, Kelowna, 2009.

I hear the same complains from others too.

One of my friends told me once that she feels bad when she has nothing to report at work after the weekend. Everyone always has some good stories to tell, concerts they’ve seen, trips they’ve taken, so she feels the pressure to do something as well.

I also find it interesting that when you ask people how they are doing, they sometimes say “I keep myself busy”. What does that really mean? Do we somehow believe that keeping ourselves busy is connected to happiness, success and well-being? That definitely seems to be the perception in North America.

But what about reflection and staying still? Would you experience the time differently, if you slowed down and lived your life more consciously? And more importantly, would you be happier?

Seriously, what’s up with all those cute puppies and kittens?  I am not there to adopt a pet or a guy, if I like his pet. Did they borrow those cute puppies to attract chicks? Working the sensitive angle?  I don’t know. What do you think?

I have to admit some are just so adorable.

So here are the “Smiling shots”…

Sleeping…

It looks like you can get a pretty good sleep hugging a fluffy kitty. I wonder if they even need a girlfriend. Hard competition 

Kissing…

Looks like both are good kissers. 

Talking…

Holding pets…

Posing…

These two photos are my favorites. I just love how both people and pets hold the pose.

This one wins a price for “Double cute”.

There is not much love here… I think the cat’s expression reads “Get away from me”.

And now the Outdoors… from water sports to playing in the snow.

And sometimes one is just not enough

She never had a dog before, so I was worrying about how she’ll handle the challenge of raising a dog. She is already complaining that Pushok, her new puppy, is not listening to her and is terrorizing her cat.

Here is a video when the two (Tiger and Pushok) are actually behaving and playing nicely together.

A few days ago my mom had to go to the hospital for two days and her animals were left alone a lot. My brother and I visited them before and after work as much as we could to feed them etc., though that didn’t help much. Here are some photos and videos of what happened to my mom’s place when the cute kitty and puppy were left home alone.

I was pretty shocked at how much damage was done to my mom's apartment in just one day.

My brother recorded everything on his iPhone. Funny, that the TV was working, as if they were watching TV in my mom’s absence. Everything was chewed up – toilet paper, newspapers, phone cords. They even knocked down some of her plants. So it was a total mess.

Here is the video.

Update: Sadly, we had to find Pushok a new home. My mom realized after seeing the damage to her place that she can’t handle the puppy.