Perfect World
When I was younger growing up in Russia, I had this ideal, almost naive, view of the world where good always defeats evil, everything is fair, everybody is perfect and eventually finds their true love.
This view was partially shaped by the books I read in high school (“Crime and Punishment” etc.), teaching methods in school at that time (We were encouraged to strive for perfection) and because of my overall sheltered childhood.
Crime rates were low in Russia at that time, or if they weren’t, we were not aware of that, because we never saw crime reports on TV. News programs covered only happy news and official messages were always positive and uplifting in nature.
"Day after day, life becomes even happier! - Soviet era poster
When I was younger, I struggled with the fact that not everything and everyone is perfect. I didn’t know what to do about that and very often would break good (but not perfect) relationships and stop talking to some people for extended periods of time.
I didn’t know that by aiming for perfection, I was setting myself up for a disappointment.
Now much older, I know that it’s unrealistic to expect perfection from yourself or others, and that perfection doesn’t lead to happiness.
However, one thing I didn’t understand is why my parents didn’t try to prepare me better for the real world. I lived in such a bubble, that I was unaware of anything bad. I never had a conversation with my mom about boys, drinking, jealousy or bullying at school, or any other important issues that all teenagers experience, as if they didn’t apply to me.
My mom says that she didn’t know any better. That’s how she was brought up. There was no good literature on this topic at a time and people generally didn’t discussed problems, especially with their kids.
That’s definitely not the best way to bring up kids. It’s a sure way to raise defeated perfectionists, naive, too trusting and totally unprepared for the real life individuals, who will end up disappointed in life.
Luckily, it’s not me, though I was probably heading in that direction before.
